Sorry for another thread, just need some constrictive criticism…I'll RTF on your piece if you post a link to it. I wrote this to “Like Toy Soldiers” (minus the hook). Usually, my lyrics are full of “big” words, but I decided to simplify this one,. Let me know what you think:

my life's always been tough, has always been real rough

people lookin' at me like i just wasn't good enough, for what?

they always had their standards, cast me out as a punk

the fuck, all i did was, i just stuck with my gut, but

i got caught on the beats from an early age, it made parents rage

they tried to get it out of my brain, they'd say

“it causes misbehavin'”, they sayin', “it'll attract u to satan, they preyin' on the youth's swayin' persuasion”

but i knew better, i knew those were misperceptions

rap is a gift greater than christmas presents

it teaches you bout life, doesn't bullshit you

it instead helps you realize the cold-hard truths

that, not everything seen is as it seems, people go to extremes, to deny everything that lacks their regimes

the theme is that they like to crush rapper's dreams

they deem us products of mainstream, “just some scrapper teens”

“look at that kid, does he think he's black?”

“he's being brainwashed by all that nefarious rap”

i say, fuck that, not everyone who raps is a thug

rap isn't bout pimpin' hoes, or doin' all them worthless ass drugs

“they're making these kids into subliminal soldiers”

“i demand justice, i call, for criminal order!”

they try to bring us down, cause their minds are full of nothin' but hate

they look at us like we nothing but fuckin' primates

in the declaration it states we are all equal

then why the fuck can't we all just be treated like people?

not all of us rappers are doped-out addicts, it's tragic

we mad that you judge us only by our social status, it's madness

but that's not to say we don't overcome adversity

yet because i came from the “wrong parts” all of you curse on me

the only difference i see between me and all of you

is that, when it comes to music, i bleed it through and through

unlike a lot of people, i'm not such a bad guy, i've tried

but because i rap people seem to turn a blind eye

it's not criminal to write a heart-felt poem

so why the fuck can i not write down my thoughts and show em'

that rap is just another form of literature

except we're writin' bout life, not talkin' bout critter's fur

who the fuck is bambi? those stories make us all soft

i'd rather listen to Rabbit talk bout how his life's sucked

it doesn't seem fair that people treat us like dirt

for what's it's worth, we're all just people, killin' this earth

with all our hate, through this racism and media propaganda

i fucking hate all the haters, when i see em' i just can't stand em'

they spread lies to try and make us look incompetent 

why the fuck can't we just end this fued, put a stop to it?

fighting won't help, it'll just cause more problems

instead of using agrression we should learn how to solve em'

it'll take work, but i'm willin', to do what it takes

even if it means comprimisin', for heaven's sake

we don't want to fight, all we want is some peace

but some people are so stubborn they want rap to decease

for what reason? i don't know, i guess they're ignorant

to what rap really is, and what rap really isn't

it's a lost form of art, that belongs in museums

rappers are just poets who don't censor their readers

we tell stories, that hit it home, right to the heart

yet we're critized for telling people that life is hard

but it's truth, and maybe one day, people will see

that we're just trying to help, not indoctrinate teens

unlike telivision and religion, that scare you into submission

they threaten you with fire if you're not a church-goin' Christian

that's persecution at it's finest, i doubt that's His plan

these people are not leaders, ya'll need to take a stand